Nephrology
by Shadow minx
Summary: Alice is a young ambitious doctor looking to build a highly successful career in the field of renal medicine. But maybe her priorities will change when she receives her first ever patient, the charming, beautiful yet seriously ill Jasper Hale. What will survive in Alice's fight for her profession and Jasper's fight for his life?
1. Hot Things

Chapter 1: Hot Things

I could feel my eyes lids dropping already; I hadn't slept in 36 long hours. I looked over my patient's chart again quickly scanning the numbers into my head and checking for anything sinister. Her GFR had dropped to 4, crap. She needed a transplant soon.

"Dr Hoffman," I said looking over to the nephrology attending. "Melissa Jeffery's GFR has dropped to 7 and despite the EPO she's highly anaemic, her haemoglobin level is at 6 grams per decilitre."

He pulled the chart toward him and frowned, "Order a higher dosage of EPO and Iron supplements for now, in the morning we'll carry out the tests again and see if it had made a difference, if her levels stay the same I'll see to it she gets moved up the transplant list."

I nodded curtly one and jotted down his recommendation into the chart. I then clicked my pen twice and quickly place the chart in the rack labelled "attention needed".

Once in the locker room I tore off my dark purple scrubs and threw them into the big black bin to be cleaned. I swished on my grey jeans and white cotton shirt before quickly running a brush through my short black hair and slamming my locker door shut. My car was parked at the far end of the lot, the only space I could find when I arrived at the hospital all those hours ago. I felt as if my knees might buckle at any moment out of sheer exhaustion before I could reach my car. _Maybe I should take a taxi?_ I thought absently, quickly dismissing the idea, I was fine. This was nothing, once I'd stayed up for 52 hours straight just because my brother dared me.

I plunged the key into the ignition and started the engine of my small red Volkswagen Beatle that my family have told me repeatedly to get rid of; I just told them to stop hating on the bug. The drive home seemed miles longer then it really was though every light I hit turned green, lucky night I guess. _Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket. _But right now even an hour's sleep seemed more appealing than a million dollar win. I turned the wheel sharply into a free parking spot in front of my building. I dragged my almost sleeping body out of the car, barley remembering to lock it afterwards. I made my way up to my very comfortable two room apartment overlooking a beautiful park, not that I cared about the view at this particular moment.

I threw my keys in a small bowl by the side of the door before dropping by bag, for once just letting it stay where it fell, ripping off my jacket and falling face first into my bed. Falling asleep fully clothed, praying that by some act of god that the hospital was closed tomorrow and that my alarm failed to go off so that I didn't need to wake up in eight and a half hours. Alas, no such miracle happened. And at 6:35 an alien beeping forced my lead lined eyes open to face another long day. I loved my job, I really did, but sometimes I just wanted to curl up and hibernate.

I shed my crinkled clothes and jumped into a lukewarm shower. It was refreshing. I washed my hair with my signature lavender shampoo and made sure to scrub ever inch of my sleep deprived body with sweet smelling shower goo. When I was finally satisfied with levels of hygiene and alertness I flicked off the water and dried my self quickly with a warm towel. I pulled on some plain underwear and rummaged through my drawers for something nice to wear, not that it mattered, I would be changing into some unflattering scrubs as soon as I got to the hospital but I always liked to wear something nice, no matter the occasion.

I grabbed a cereal bar and a chocolate muffin from the kitchen before searching for where I'd left my bag and sticking on some coffee. Coffee, that's all I needed to truly start the day, as soon as I had a little caffeine in my system I would be back to my usual chirpy self. At least it was only a seven hour shift today, I could finish work and maybe even have time to do a little shopping before I went to my parents for dinner. I was actually quite looking forward to it; I hadn't seen my family in a while. Except, of course, one of my brothers, but that was on a medical consult so it didn't really count.

I have two brothers; Edward is a neurologist, training to be anyway, and works in a hospital not far from mine. He's only two years older than me at 25 but he's married already to Bella, his high school sweetheart. My other brother Emmett is 26 and works, for the moment at least, in the business world. Something I can openly say I know nothing about. My dad is a doctor at well, general practice. My mom quite her job as an interior designer when she got pregnant with Emmett but when I was heading off to collage she went back to it.

But it was a good three hours drive – and a ferry ride - from Seattle to my parents in Forks so it was a good thing I had a short shift. Today's Friday and I have the weekend off so I'm staying in Forks for the night then heading back up on Saturday. I'm driving Edward and Bella down as well; carpool, save the planet and all that. Emmett was driving from Olympia, where he currently worked, I could have picked him up but that would have added another hour onto my journey. I'm such a loving sister.

Something beeped in the kitchen, coffee time. I swallowed the remaining crumbs of my muffin and dashed to grab my red flask and pour a generous amount of coffee into it. I checked my watched. I had ten minutes before I had to leave, time enough to watch the end of the 'project runway' I hadn't had time to finish. I sipped at the boiling coffee as a perched myself on the end of my sofa, afraid that if I got comfy I would never want to get up again.

My coffee was finished when it came time to leave; I washed the flask quickly and grabbed my keys, which luckily had landed exactly where I had meant them to last night. My door locked with a click behind me and I lightly jogged down the stairs. My car was waiting for me exactly where I'd left it and I slid into the driver's seat placing the key into the ignition.

When I got into the hospital locker room I quickly changed into my small purple scrubs and ruffled my short dark hair with my fingers.

"Moring Alice," Jeffrey Kirkland greeted me as he walked into the room. "Monster shift yesterday!"

"Tell me about it, I feel like I haven't slept in weeks," I chirped.

"You sound alert enough," he commented.

"Coffee," I said. "Lot's of coffee." I left Jeff to change in peace and took the stairs to the third floor nephrology department, my current and much loved work place.

The sound that greeted me was the usual bleeps, scurrying of feet and scratching of pens. But it wasn't exactly noisy; it was a rather peaceful department. But I could hear a woman's voice emanating from one of the consult rooms. I could only make out a few of her words, but they weren't kind.

"Good morning Angela, how are you?" I asked one of my favourite nurses.

"Very well doctor Cullen, thank you. We have a new patient today, transferred from Olympia, 23 year old male, stage five been on haemodialysis for four year and on the transplant list for three of them." Then she handed me the chart with a mischief's grin. "He's all yours." I threw her a questioning look but she just smiled and went on with her charting work. I flicked open the chart to find out where the patient was, consult room 2. That was the room the woman's voice was coming from, great. The door was half open and I looked inside. There was a young woman, probably the same age as me, a little older perhaps, stunning blonde hair and the body of a supermodel. Fantastic, just what I needed, a nagging Barbie.

But just as I was about to step into the room my phone rang, I took it out my pocket and hit the answer button. "Hello?"

"Hey sis," Emmett's voice greeted me. "So are we going to see the 'rents tonight or is it next week? Oh, and I have big news for you!"

"Yes, brother of mine," I said rolling my eyes. "Its tonight, we arranged it three weeks ago!"

"Sorry sis, I'm still coming I just didn't want to show up on the wrong night. Don't you want to hear my big news?" he sounded like a child, I swear sometimes that hasn't aged a day since his seventh birthday.

"Okay then, lets hear it," I sighed.

"I've got a new girlfriend!" He almost shouted. "She stunning Ali I can't wait for you to meet her, you two will get on like a house on fire!"

"New girlfriend," I said, trying to sound impressed. "Is she coming tonight?"

"Nah, she couldn't make it – she had some family thing" He said, sounding glum about it.

"Well I'm sure I'll meet her soon enough. I've got to go now, patients waiting. See you tonight." I brushed him off as politely as I could.

"Okay, bye Ali!" I hit the end call button and put it on vibrate before slipping it into my pocket.

"No!" The voice inside the room stated. "I don't want to see another one of his nurses. I was to see his doctor! _Doc-tor. _Understand?" Oh, I better get in there before someone started throwing punches.

"Hello," I said kindly. Flipping the chart open quickly as I suddenly realised that I didn't know the patients name. "I'm Jasper's doctor. You can go Tanya, thank you." I smiled at the nurse gently.

"Good luck with this one!" Tanya whispered before walking out the door, leaving me alone. I looked at the chart again, checking over his stats quickly.

When I lifted my head from the paper folder in my hands I looked over to the man perched on the end of the bed. Suddenly Angela's mischief's grin made sense. I swear on by budges grave, my heart nearly stopped. He looked over at me, his eyes the most amazing blue I had ever seen in my life. His hair fell messily over his ears, honey blond and perfect. He was… absolutely, for lack of any other words in my rare moment of utter stupidity, HOT!

"Hi," he said, holding out his hand. "I'm Jasper Hale." I think my jaw dropped about three feet. His voice. Oh my God I could have listened to him talk all day and all he had said were four words.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Dr Cullen." I finally managed to squeak out. I quickly grabbed his hand and shook it. I suddenly felt unnecessarily self conscious. I should have done something more with my hair, put on more than just mascara and some face powder, I should plucked my eye brows, I should have – _snap out of it!_ I chastised myself, giving my face a mental slap. You're his doctor for crying out loud.

"Well it's about time!" The tall blonde woman standing beside him said. "We've been waiting for hours, we were told to arrive early and that we would be seen by a doctor straight away!"

"I'm terribly sorry…"

"Rosalie," she quickly supplied. Rosalie, I thought, great. Not only is she absolutely gorgeous, wearing the most figure fitting cloths I had ever seen and had the body of a frigen supermodel but she was also called Rosalie! How the heck was little old scrub wearing, long hour working, sleep deprived me supposed to compete with that? "I'm his sister."

SISTER! Yes! _Oh for havens sake Alice get a grip of your self, what are you fifteen! _

"Well I'm very sorry Ms Hale but-"

"But you were to busy talking about someone's new girlfriend?" She interrupted me. "Yes I heard you on the phone out there, was that really more important than your patients? I couldn't give two craps about your brother's new girlfriend! Do you want to know what I _do _care about? I care about my brother who happens to be –"

"Rose, stop it!" Jasper chastised her. He was blushing. It wasn't till blood flushed his face that noticed how dreadfully pale he was, and the dark circles under his eyes. It seemed only then that I really realised he was my patient, my seriously ill patient and not just some guy I met at the coffee stand.

"I am sorry you had to get up so early, really I am. I wasn't made aware that you were coming in at all actually. My mistake I should have called in to see when I was needed, it won't happen again." I said carefully, not wanting to set her off on another rant.

"It's okay, I don't mind," Jasper smiled.

"Okay then, would you mind answering a few questions? I know most of it's in your chart but I'd just like to get a personal idea of your treatment so far if that's okay? I don't need details I can get that in here," I tapped that chart, "just a general idea." I asked, switching my brain into doctor mode once again.

"Sure," he smiled. "Ask away."

"When did the Kidney failure start?"

"When I was eighteen."

"Where have you previously received treatment?"

"First in Austin, Texas, then I moved to Olympia a few years ago."

The questions continued along a similar line for about fifteen minutes or so until I decided I had enough info and had set up a dialysis time table (I'd get to see him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 6 till 10), and had listened intently to every liquid word that flowed from him wonderful mouth. _He's a patient you babbling teenager, snap out of it!_

"I'd like to get you started as soon as possible since it's been quite a few days since your last dialysis, if you're free now I know there's space and I can set you up and then I'll see you again on Monday at the arranged time?"

"Sounds good," he said softly.

"Great, now if you'd just like to go through there and give the nurse at the station this," I tore him off one of the patient slips we use for new or one time only patients. "She'll show you where to go and I'll be there in a few minutes." I smiled and stood up clicking my pen twice. Jasper walked out of the small room and I headed to the nurses station.

"Angela!" I whispered urgently when I saw her at the nurse's station. "You could have warned me he was totally gorgeous _before _I walked in there and nearly made a total fool of myself falling over my jaw!"

She chuckled, "That would be no fun!"

I shot her a look of mock horror and huffed away. I had to sort out _Mr Hale's _paperwork, terribly boring but it had to be done. Then I would go see him, take some blood samples and get then too the lab as quickly as I could. It had been over a week since his last blood test, and that was too long, for _Mr Hale_ at least.

I had he notion stuck in my head that if I called him Mr Hale enough times I would stop thinking unprofessional thoughts about him… so far it wasn't working.

I flipped open his chart and scribbled down some notes, then I went onto the computer and logged everything I need to into there, so much nonsense had to be filled out for such simple things.

I grabbed a blood drawing kit and headed through to the dialysis room.

"Okay Mr Hale I'm just going to take a few blood samples," I said sweetly, but professionally.

"Oh," he said frowning. "Please, Dr Cullen, call me Jasper."

Oh, well. I guess my plan worked a whole five minutes, Jasper it is then! "Call me Alice; we'll be seeing each other a lot after all."

His sister spoke again as I started to draw his blood. "Why are you doing that?"

"We need to check his levels; it's very routine." I relied.

"Why do you need to do that? Can't you just take some blood from the machine in stead of sticking him with more needles? Do you really know what you're doing because you look very young to be fully qualified? And…" She rambled on.

I quickly packed away the kit and rapped the label around the vile of blood. "Ms Hale," I stated. "Can I speak to you privately?" I motioned to the small examination room just off the dialysis centre. I started walking toward it, throwing the reminder of the kit into the biohazard bin and handed the blood sample to the nurse. "Could you take this to the lab please?" She nodded once and walked on.

I opened the examination room door and Miss Hale walked inside. "Miss Hale I understand your concern about your brother but you have to understand that this is my job, I know what I'm doing and I would greatly appreciate it if you did not question my actions in front of my patient. He may be your brother, but I need you to trust that I will no nothing but what is best for _my _patient." The words were stern, but they had to be said.

"I just don't want to see my bother pocked and prodded when it's not necessary. He's been through enough as it is." She snapped at me.

"There's something else you need to understand Ms Hale. Healthy people don't get sent here. Stable patients don't get sent here. I'm guessing that at his last dialysis centre he was taken care of by nurses?" She nodded curtly. "Well here he'll be taken care of by me, a doctor. Your brother's renal function is decreasing, he's getting worse, otherwise he wouldn't be here. So I'm going to take more blood samples, he's going to get more treatment; he's going to have more complications. You have to realise that."

Somewhere in my harsh words her face cracked, "I know." She said, so low it was almost a whisper. "You have to take care of him" All the ferociousness she showed a short time ago was gone. Now she just looked scared, she was scared. "Ever since my Dad died it's just been me and him. I've always taken care of him, and everything was going so great, he was doing fine and I got a new job and a boyfriend and then…then he got worse. Now he's in Seattle and I'm down in Olympia and he's getting sicker. He's had to live with this for so long and now it's getting worse and I can't protect him the way I used to when we were kids, before everything got so serious, so… life threatening. I just can't loose…I can't…"

"I know," I said reassuring her. "And trust me; I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets the best care possible. I will take care of him; I'll be here whenever he needs me. I'll look after him."

"Thank you," She said softly.

"Just doing my job," I smiled. "Do you need to go or are you staying?"

"I took a few days off work; I'm staying, just to get him settled in." She replied.

I watched her walked out the room and over to her brother, she said something and he laughed. I sat down the bed beside me and watched them. They were talking easily with each other, laughing. I flipped open the chart that I somehow still hadn't put down where it was supposed to be. I looked over the pages again. If she cared so much about her brother, why didn't she donate a kidney to him? It's the first thing I would have thought of if it had been one of my brothers. Ah, there it is. She was a positive match, but… that didn't make any sense. She was so protective of her brother why wouldn't she donate if she was a positive match. I read on, 'unviable candidate' the chart said. So she did want to help her brother, she just couldn't.

I shut the chart and walked out of the small exam room. I wanted to ask her why she couldn't donate. _What can I say, I'm a curious person! _But I knew I couldn't, after all, _she_ wasn't my patient.

"Good morning Alice," a deep voice spoke from behind me. I turned quickly.

"Doctor Hoffman, good morning sir!" I chipped.

"I see you have discovered your new patient, I was going to tell you last night but it must have slipped my mind. Terribly sorry about that! But I also have a bit of a surprise for you," I raised a questioning eyebrow. "Mr Hale is your patient and yours alone!" He beamed.

And for the second time this morning my jaw nearly hit the floor, was he kidding? "Are you sure?" I asked cautiously.

"Entirely sure Dr Cullen you are more then ready. Of course I will keep an eye on things but I have every confidence that you will do brilliantly!" He smiled. "Now I will be off to see to my patients and will leave you with yours."

My own patient! All mine! All to myself! I could barely believe it. But just as abruptly as the excitement set in, it vanished. And in it's place, dread. After all this was _my _patient and if I did anything wrong it would all be on me. I looked over at him sitting in a big pink 'day patient' chair chatting lightly to his sister, he was my responsibility now. I was in charge of keeping him alive, me and only me (so maybe there are some other docs in this place that would step in if I messed things up, but still). And besides that… He. Was. HOT!


	2. Dinner Time

**Chapter 2: Dinner Time**

The sound of my phone ringing on the coffee table woke me from the light slumber I had fallen into while watching America's Next Top Model, a guilty pleasure of mine (okay, not so guilty! I love it!). Edward, the screen flashed. I groaned a little, I guess his means I'm late, I thought to myself.

"Hullo," I huffed as I hit the answer button and raised the phone to my ear.

"Alice you were meant to pick us up half an hour ago, where are you?" Edward said sharply. I looked at the TV and dully realised that some cartoon had begun playing, must have slept a little longer than I had thought.

"Sorry Eddy, I'll be there as soon as I can!" I hit the little red button before he could make some snarky comment.

I was already changed and ready to walk out the door, I had only sat down for half an hour to have a little coffee and a chocolate bar. I then absently noted that the coffee was half drank and the chocolate untouched, oops. I quickly rinsed out the dirty mug, flung on a coat, grabbed my keys and dashed for the door.

My red bug smelled of old coffee and stale doughnuts, people will start thinking I drive a cop car by the smell of it. I should buy an air freshener, one of those little ones shaped like a pine tree, I like them. The fates were kind once again and I got green lights all the way, not that it was a very long drive to Edward and Bella's little apartment. Ten minutes later I was knocking on their door.

"About time you got here!" Edward complained as the green door swung open. He was already wearing his coat and had a big umbrella in his hand. Bella was standing behind him looking amused.

"He's been in a mood all day!" She supplied. "Don't worry about it."

"I wasn't," I chirped happily. Edward walked past me motioning for Bella to follow; he locked the door behind her and made his way along the corridor. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," I mumbled as I walked after them.

Edward wouldn't stop moaning the whole way there. I swear if I wasn't driving I would have hit him. Sometimes I felt sorry for Bella, I can't imagine how horrific it would be to have to spend the rest of my life with that boy, living with him for seventeen years was torture enough!

Four hours later when we finally arrived at big old white house I was ready to strangle him, luckily dad was there to distract me.

"Hi sweetheart," he said as he gave me a quick hug. "Have a good drive?"

I gave a kind of annoyed grunt in reply and he looked confused for a moment before he spotted Bella and Edward getting out of the car and moved over to great them. I locked my bug and headed in to find mom. The kitchen was probably a good bet, the woman loved to cook, though she was a skinny as a rake. I was really looking forward to a good meal tonight though, I'd been living off half eaten takeaway and doughnuts for nearly two weeks, work had just been so busy I didn't have a free minute to cook anything. Not that would have cooked anything if I had a free minute; I was a bit of a damp squib in the kitchen.

The rich smell of tomato wafted from the kitchen door as soon as I had turned the handle, meatballs maybe? I loved mom's meat balls. "Oh Alice you're here!" Mom said setting down her wooded spoon on the counter. Defiantly something involving tomato sauce, I thought. Mom rushed over hugged me; hers lasted a little longer than dads though. "Are Edward and Bella here as well?" She asked.

"I should hope so, I drove them here!" I said, it always amazed me how much people asked questions they already knew the answers to, after all she knew full well that I was driving Mr Mope and his wife. She pecked my cheek quickly and rushed out the door.

"Good drive?" Emmett asked coyly, he was sitting on a stool at the island munching on a bread stick.

"Edwards in one of his moods," I humphed as I took up the stool beside him. Emmett gave his eye brow a wiggle and grinned. "You knew he was in a mood didn't you!" His grin grew. "Why didn't you warn me? Oh could have saved me three and a half hours of Moans Ville from Mr Mope!"

"I could have, but that isn't what older brothers are for!" He chuckled.

I hit his arm lightly, "Then what on earth good are you?" I scorned in mock rage.

Emmett only laughed, "Was he that bad? I was talking to him on the phone this morning, just after I called you, and he seemed pretty snippy."

"Pretty snippy is an under statement! He wouldn't stop going on and on about stupid things, 'it's too warm in here', 'gees Ali are you trying to freeze me turn up the heater', 'you really should get a new car you know', 'I'm very busy at work and the last thing I need to drive for four hour in a car that smells like something died in it, the least you could do is buy an air freshener!' I swear Emmett I was ready to through him out the car by the time I got here!" I ranted on and on.

"Bella sure is a saint putting up with that boy." He said matter-of-factly.

"And then he asks if I can work another THREE hours! It completely absurd!" Edward's voice rang through the house as the front door softly clicked shut. Emmett and I looked at each other for a moment then bust out laughing.

"What's funny?" Mom gently asked as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Oh nothing," I said, she wouldn't have condoned the two of us 'ganging up on Edward' as she always put it.

"Oh well," she said. "You can both go and sit with in lounge with the rest of them if you like, I'm fine through here."

"No way mom," Emmett exclaimed. "I don't want to listen to those two talking doctor till dinners served, I guarantee you that Bella will be through here in ten minutes. Best leave the doctors alone!"

"Hey," I retorted. "I'm a doctor to you know!"

"Yes Ali, but you are a human being who happened to be a doctor; they are doctors who happened to be human beings." He explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Mom just kind of shook her head in dismay and I frowned at him.

"Sometimes I wonder is you're a human being at all." I muttered. Mom chuckled and Emmett just looked confused, but he didn't bother commenting.

"Mind if I join you," Bella's soft voice rang from behind me. "The two of them have launched into full scale medical jargon and I can't understand a word, something about Goble Cell-"

"Globoid cell Leukodystrophy," I stated. Three sets of eyes questioned me. "Hey, I'm a doctor too you know! You lot seem to keep forgetting that! Just because I don't go on and on about it the way dad and Mr Mope do! And they've been talking about it for weeks." There I go, I though to myself, ranting again.

"You two still call him Mr Mope?" Bella said quizzically.

"Yup," Emmett and I said in sync.

"It's a good thing he doesn't know about it!" She exclaimed. Oh Bella, I thought, even you don't know how right you are.

"Yup," We said again.

"Oh Esme what is that delicious smell?" She said quickly changing the subject, I'm not sure she liked our nick name for Edward either, though at least she could see the hilarity in it unlike a certain Mr Mope. It was the epitome of the statement 'funny because it's true'.

"Thanks Bella, I hope you'll all hungry I've enough spaghetti and meatballs to feed an army!" Mom quipped.

"Ah but the question is," Emmett interjected. "Have you made enough to feed me?" We all chuckled, it really amazed me the amount of food that boy could shovel down his throat. The light banter continued easily until dinner was finally ready and we sat down at the long wooded dinning table to stuff our faces. Well, all of us except Edward who just sat pushing his food around with a frown etched on his face.

"Mom," Emmett said as we started to clear away the plates, "that was truly amazing!"

"Why thank you honey," She said leaning down to give him a peck on the cheek.

"I vote we move to the lounge and have some coffee," Dad said, "All in favour?" We all raised our hands and Dad smiled.

"Could I have decaf please?" Bella asked softly.

"Decaf," Dad mused, "Yes I think I've heard of that!"

Emmett helped mom and dad out with the clear up and coffee while I sat in the living room with Mr Mope and a fidgety Bella. I couldn't help but let my mind wonder a little, maybe it was the background music Edward had put on (music always made me daydream). I couldn't help but think of Jasper, I see young sick people everyday, but there was something about him that stuck in my mind and it wasn't just because he was my first solo patient. And it wasn't just because he was gorgeous. He'd been sick for five years, hooked up to a machine twelve hours a week, but he still seemed… I don't know, bright somehow, chipper. I had only met him one time though so I couldn't really go around making assumptions. He was my patient after all, a patient and nothing more, that's all there was to it.

"Coffee time," Emmett announced as he walked in with four big mugs of Coffee closely followed by Mom and Dad.

"So kids," dad said sitting down with his coffee in hand, "give us the low down, the 411."

"Dad you totally can't pull that off," I snorted.

"Okay okay," he sighed. "So what's going on, I feel like I haven't seen you rag tag bunch in forever! It's news time!" Ah, news time, a Cullen family tradition, my parents started it when we were in school, their sneaky way of getting info out of us. Apparently 'fine' was not a good enough response to the question, 'how was school'.

"We'll start then," my mother interjected after half a second of silence. "Your father and I have hired an architect!"

"An architect?" Three voices questioned in unison.

"Yes!" She replied excitedly. "We just have so much land going completely unused that we decide it was about time we did something with it, don't you think? So we've decided to build a little cottage, nothing fancy just something cosy! We've been talking about doing it ever since you lot moved out so we finally just phoned up this firm in Seattle and hired an architect. He's a lovely young man, the architect, don't you think Carlisle? So young and keen, he's only been down once to have a look at the land but he keeps in contact. We'll probably be going up to Seattle to see him soon; we'll drop in on you and say 'hi'."

Mom liked to talk when she was excited, the rest of the time she was very refined, I'm just surprised she managed to wait this long to tell us. "So what are you going to do with it when it's finished?" I asked.

"We talked about renting it out," Dad said in slightly more subdued tone than mom. "Or maybe just using it was a holiday home; I hear the other end of the garden is lovely this time of year!"

"That sounds great!" Emmett said, "Good for you, finally doing something with the forest out the back door! I have some news of my own actually!" After a few seconds passed and none of us responded except for raising our eye brows he finally spilled the beans, though I pretty sure I knew what he was about to say. "I got a new girlfriend!" Yep, I was right. "We've only been going out for a couple of weeks but man she's great!"

"What's her name?" Bella asked smiling.

"Rose," he sighed. "Isn't that just a great name?" Haha, I thought, someone's smitten!

"That's' great news Emmett I'm so happy for you!" Bella smiled "You'll need to let us meet her at some time!" But before Emmett could comment she carried on. "Edward and I have some news too!" She looked over nervously at Edward who I think might have smiled a little, though it might just have been a trick of the light. "I'm Pregnant!" She announced.

There was a second of silence between us processing the information and showering them with congratulations, this at least did explain Edwards fowl mood. He was nervous! I was kind of cute. I told him as much when I gave him his congrats-you're-gonna-be-a-dad hug. He didn't look amused.

"I'm gonna be the cool uncle," Emmett grinned. "You know that one that they always want to spend time with because I let them stay up late and eat junk food."

"Okay let's scratch Emmett of the babysitting list," Bella laughed.

"Well that kind of puts my 'I got my first solo patient' news to shame doesn't it?" I joked.

"You did!" Dad said. "Honey that excellent, I'm so proud of you!" He gave me a quick hug and moved onto telling Edward the horrors of children. After that point the three girls and three guys kind of banded together. Mom was telling Bella all about pregnancy and what to expect and I could vaguely hear dad at the other end of the room talking about dirty diapers.

"Are you going to find out the sex?" I asked.

"No," she said instantly. "We both want to wait, let it be a surprise."

"That's what we did, with all three of them, you have no idea how happy I was when Alice was born and Carlisle said 'it's a girl'." Mom said. "Of course I didn't really mind what sex my children were as long as they were healthy but after having two boys… just have two names ready just in case, Alice would have been James and I think Emmett and Edward were going to be Victoria and Lauren!"

"We haven't decided on any names yet, I think Edwards still trying to process that whole pregnancy thing." Bella said softly.

"He always was a little slow," I added.

"Alice, don't be mean about your brother, he just takes his time, there's nothing wrong with that." My mom chastised me.

"Yeah, well I'm already three months in and I think this baby might be here before he gets his head round it!"

"Three months," My mom said astonished, "How long have you known?" Mom sounded a little hurt like they had just purposely not told her.

"Only a few days, it's not really that unusual for me to miss my period every now and then because of the stress at work, ER nurses don't get it easy you know! But when I missed so many in a row I started to get a little suspicious, I didn't even have any morning sickness!"

"Lucky you!" Mom exclaimed. "Emmett and Alice weren't too bad, but Edward! Dear lord I thought I'd never get my head out the toilet." Edward Cullen, I thought, making people want to vomit since before he was born! I'm petulant I know, but I'm his sister, it's my job. "And you know that if you ever need a babysitter we would be more than happy, though if you're still living in Seattle it might be a little difficult but all the same you can count on us!"

"Thanks so much Esme, I know I can. We've discussed living arrangement's, I mean a small apartment in Seattle isn't exactly the idea place to raise a family but of course we'll need to wait for Edward to finish his contract at the hospital in a years time."

Job, marriage, house and babies, I guess that's life. My brother seemed to have it all. Right? All I had was the first one, and didn't even completely have that because of course one does not simply become a fully qualified renal physician at the tender age of 23. I've only ever had one boyfriend, James. We had been together three years when he dumped me last year. Apparently I had been cheating on my job with him; he didn't want to be a home wrecker. How considerate of him. I didn't mind really, it gave me more time for work and study… and I love my job.

Jasper.

Why did I just think his name? Get a grip of yourself Alice he's a patient. Patient. Patient. Patient. And besides that I've only spent about 20 minutes with him and lets face it 'Hello I'm your doctor and I'm going to stick needles in your arm' and 'See you next session, let me just take those needles out before you leave.' doesn't exactly se the scene for future romance. I mean how many rom-coms have you seen that in?

Oh my gosh Alice when did you start thinking about Romance with Jasper Hale? I don't think about romance with anyone, ever. And now suddenly I'm thinking about staring in a rom-com with some guy you talked to for a few minutes? And who happened to be your first ever patient? I can't get romantically involved with a patient and that's the end of it, my career comes first, my career always comes first.

"Alice?" Bella's voice called bringing me sharply out of my inner monologue. "Hellooo paging Dr Cullen… Oh no not you two, I mean, um, I was talking to, oh never mind! Alice!"

"Yeah," I said cluelessly.

"So what do you think?" She urged.

"About what?" I stammered.

"About Edward and I selling up and moving back to Forks when his contract reviews up? Have you been listening to anything we've just said?" She said waving her hands in exasperation.

"That sounds great!" I answered. "There really aren't many opportunities for neurology in Forks though. And yes of course I was listing, I'm just…tired." It wasn't a lie exactly, I was tired.

"It's a good thong you're staying the night then." My mum said primly. She was always pleased to have all her family under one roof for the night. Maybe that's just how you get when your youngest is 23 years old and your about to become a grandmother, jeez that sounds weird! My mom…a granny!

"I guess it is pretty late," I say absently. "I might turn in for the night, thanks for dinner mom it was delicious." I said my goodnight to the family before heading up to my old bedroom. You know the kind of sleep you wake up from feeling like you've been out for weeks when it's only been hours? The kind of sleep you can only have when you're home. I like coming home to catch up on some sleep. But that wasn't the kind of sleep I had, my dreams were filled with him. Filled with Jasper Hale.

When morning finally came and light was pecking through the cracks in my shutters I rolled over and groaned at how tired I still was. I got out of bed just the same and brushed my teeth viscously to get rid of morning breath. There were a few streaks of red through the white foam I spat into the sink; I make a mental note to stop brushing my teeth so hard. It was an old habit of mine, one I remember dad lecturing me over when I was young, but old habits tend to sneak back into play when you have other things on your mind. Like Jasper Hale. No! Nothing like Jasper Hale, I am NOT thinking about Jasper Hale.

But before I could start thinking about Jasper Hale again the smell of waffles drifted past my nostrils (well technically molecules from said waffles diffused through the air reaching my nasal passages where they dissolved onto the mucus membrane covering my olfactory cells and a signal was then sent to my brain where it was processed to be the scent of waffles…but that statement isn't quite as poetic). I thanked my olfactory cells for the heads up before I had my way down stairs to stuff the waffles down my throat (that I mean literally).

I was surprised when I reached the kitchen to find it was not the professional hand of my mother making such wonderfully smelling molecules but was in fact Mr Mope himself. "Your up early," I stated as I perched myself on a stool and started racking my fingers through my hair to make it look slightly more like hair and slightly less like a cat.

"Couldn't sleep, to many things going through my head," He said glumly as he dusted icing sugar over a pile of freshly made waffles.

"So you decide to cook me breakfast?" I questioned. "Heck I'm not complaining, hand me other the goods!"

"Well I didn't cook them for you specifically but since you asked so nicely…" He laughed as he handed me a plate and set the tray of waffles in the middle of the island counter. "You're up early yourself!"

"Well I smelled the waffles!" I lied. Edward raised his eye brows at me; I suppose he knew me to well to buy that sorry attempt at a lie. "They smelled good!" His eye brows went up a bit further. "Okay okay, I couldn't sleep!" I relented, man I crack to easily. "I just couldn't stop…thinking, you know? Just about things. Nothing compared to what you need to think about of course, a wife, a baby on the way, an uncompleted residency in a highly competitive field. I don't know how you're gonna manage it!" His face darkened and I knew immediately that I had over talked again.

"I was thinking about, maybe, moving out of the city. Maybe quitting Neuro and becoming a GP like dad." Okay this was good, he was talking. It's good to get Edward talking! But oh I really want to eat that waffle while it's still hot. No. No! Forget about the waffle that's not important listen to your brother he needs you're help. Now I'm talking to myself franticly inside my head, a sign of either craziness or extreme sleep deprivation. I vote for the later.

"But Ed you've always wanted to do Neuro, I know having a baby changes things but you shouldn't give up something you've wanted your whole life, you'd regret it." I said easily, the right things to say just flowing from my mouth. Maybe I should have been a psychiatrist? Na.

"See that's what I thought!" He continued. "But then I sort of realised something…I don't think I…I mean I don't…it's just…" He took a deep breath before going on. "I don't like my job! Not being a doctor you know I love that. It's Neuro! I hate all the long hours and the constant competition for jobs, I hate having to prove myself to my bosses when the only people I should be proving myself to is my patients. Patients are just treated like things in Neuro, like walking illnesses and injuries. That's not what I became a doctor for. It'd rather look after whole families, give people ibuprofen for their headaches, tell mothers their kids cough is nothing to worry about, tell people they have the cold and prescribe them some coco. I'm starting to think that this baby could be the best thing that's ever happened for so many reasons and maybe he/she is coming at just the right time, before I took my life down a path that I couldn't come back from and that I didn't even enjoy." He was smiling at me now; I could see a light in his eyes that hadn't been there all of yesterday. Maybe telling someone what was in his head was just what the doctor ordered (geez, that's cheesy! I must try and get some sleep!). He picked up a waffle and sunk his teeth in, his mouth curling up at the sides. It's was nice to see him look happy, he hardly ever did, always so serious all the time.

"GP's can prescribe coco? All I get to prescribe is EPO and Fosrenol!" I Complained.

"That's what you look from that?" He said in genuine disbelief.

"Just kidding around Eddy! I'm happy for you, and for Bell's. I can't wait to mean my new nice or nephew." I chuckled.

"I can't wait either. Well I mean maybe I can wait a little while, got to get some major things sorted our before they arrive!" He laughed. "We better start eating these waffles before Emmett wakes up!"

"Couldn't agree more!" I giggled picking one up with my bare hand and munching half of it off in one bite.

"You're such a delicate eater Alice. Truly it's astonishing!" He ridiculed. I scowled and then burst out laughing as I hurled a hot waffle right his head. It nearly hit him too. It was nice to have a bit of fun with him again, I liked seeing him happy. I liked seeing him laugh. Maybe this was going to be the best thing to happen to him; maybe it was at just the right time. And maybe, just maybe, it was for me too.


	3. Venofer

"So why did you decide to go into renal?" My Jasper asks me as I finish adjusting his IV input. (Wait! No, I meant to say _'My patient' _and then I decided to say _'Jasper' _and then it all just kind of got muddled up. I most certainly did not mean 'My Jasper'!)

"I've had to increase your Venofer so try and eat foods rich in iron it's not ideal increasing your supplement doses. Beans, meat, unsalted nuts…apricots are good. In the mean time if you experience any nausea or vomiting, abdominal pain, constipation/diarrhoea let me know as soon as possible." I informed him very professionally in my 'doctor' voice.

"Why is it those two always seem to be listed together in the list of side effects, they seem kind of opposite." He joked, his face serious and slightly quizzical. A guy that jokes about diarrhoea and constipation after only three meetings (and one of them hardly counted, he came in for dialysis and I said '_Hey there'_). He was defiantly my kind of guy. I mean _patient, _my kind of patient_. _My thoughts are starting to get a little unprofessional but technically my shift ends at 7:00 and it is currently 7:05, I am now only staying in the building to look after Jasper, how crazy is that?!

"They're more similar than you'd think, same organ doing the nasty." I smiled back.

"You didn't answer my question," He said looking up at my with those blue eyes I could swim in and raised an eyebrow. "You seem young to have chosen something as…repetitive as this."

"I'm the same age as you, actually, and I love my job! It's really not that repetitive, I get to deal with all kind of different things." I reply, sitting down on the visitors chair next to him and setting his chart down on my lap.

"Yes," He agreed with a thoughtful expression. "I imagine in a specialty that deals with kidney failure you would see a large variety of things." His mouth curled a little at the sides. He looked tired. "And you still haven't answered my question."

"It's…kind of a long story." I said sheepishly, looking down at the grey folder in my lap.

Jasper looks at the red tubes snaking out of his arm and looks back at me, "I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to!" He added quickly. "I know your shifts over; you are allowed to go home you know?" He smirked.

"You're my patient; I want to make sure you're doing okay!" I _forgot _to add that he was my _first_ patient; I don't want him running for the hills. But of course I still wasn't answering his question. "It's not that I don't want to tell you it's just…it's kind of cheesy!" I blushed a bit looking back into his hypnotic eyes.

He leaned in a tiny bit closer and in a quiet voice said, "I think I can handle it."

"I didn't want to be a GP like my dad," I blurted out, barley registering that I've never really told anyone this before. "I don't have anything against wiping runny noses and writing sick notes but I just never imagined myself doing it. And through med school we're all kind of forced to believe that you help more people doing the flashy jobs, like being a brain surgeon or emergency medic. They all sound very impressive but from my experience the doctors there are pig headed and ruled by their morbidly obese egos. Being a doctor isn't about feeding your personal ambitions, it's about helping someone in anyway you can despite how you feel personally.

"When you get brain surgery everyone cares - it's big, it's dramatic, it's life threatening – and everyone pays attention because you just had _brain surgery. _But with chronic conditions after a while a scream becomes a yawn and no one gives a toss. They realise that your gonna be sick for a long time and visiting with cookies for a couple of weeks isn't gonna cut it, people pull away from commitment like that. People with chronic condition need more care, instead they get less. It isn't right."

We sat in silence for a few minutes; I've said too much, I know I have! Good thing I'm off the clock. But he's still my patient. God that was so unprofessional. He wasn't looking at me anymore; he was looking at the dialysis machine filtering his blood. I hope I hadn't stepped too far.

"I have two aunts, an uncle and four cousins." Jasper said finally. "When I was first diagnosed they took turns to sit with me when I got dialysis. After a few weeks they stopped coming as often and then they stopped altogether. Then my dad died and they started again…and then after a few weeks they stopped. I haven't seen them in three years." He sighed and looked back into my waiting eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…your right. And thanks." My heart nearly stopped. He was thanking me? No! He was meant to be telling me how inappropriate my behaviour was and report me to my superiors. Why did he was have to be so nice? I was struggling to keep my thoughts in check as it was without him thanking me for just doing my job!

"I'm glad I'm your first patient, it'll be a great claim to fame one day." He smiled, this one reached his eyes. His tired face lit up and suddenly he didn't look like a tired patient any more, he looked…perfect. Wait! What did he just say!?

"How did you know you were my first patient?" I half asked half demanded.

"I've had a lot of doctors in the past five years, I can tell." He said in that perfect southern-but-not-to-southern accent.

"So how am I doing?" I asked jokingly.

"So far so good, I'm very impressed!" He laughed.

We continued talking lightly to each other until his session was over and I took it upon myself to patch up his arm and sort out the machine. And put his chart back of course, don't want to forget that. Before putting it in the rack I noted down a few points about his mood and demeanour, the usual.

After I had changed into normal clothes and was walking to my car at the far side of the parking lot I noticed Jasper sitting at the bus stop. I walked over to him. He looked up at me apologetically, "Rosalie had to go back to Olympia and the exhaust blew out in my car driving up here last week so it's in the shop."

"Well I am certainly not letting you get the bus, come on my cars over there. Way way over there. There are always spaces on the fringes of the parking lot." I said sheepishly. "And don't even try to argue with me," I said as he opened his mouth to protest. "I'm giving you a lift and that's that."

"Yes ma'am." He smiled.

"You can put the radio on if you like." I said as I drove away from the hospital.

"No, it's okay. I like the quiet this time of night." He slurred quietly. So we had one thing in common, doesn't mean a thing.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked instinctively. After five years of dialysis his body should be used to it but you never really know, the body can be temperamental and unpredictable.

"Yeah doc', just tired. You'd think I'd be fine after sitting on my butt for four hours but sometimes…it kind of wipes me out." He was trying to sound a little more energetic, for my sake? No. I was probably just reading too much into it. "So your dads a doctor too?" He asked casually, changing the subject so quickly? Interesting.

"Yes he is, so is my brother. He's works over at UWMS, they have a great Neuro program…but not quite as good as Virginia Masons renal I think you'll agree!" I laughed.

"Of course," He chuckled. "If they're churning out doctors like you there's no competition. Oh you need to take a left.." He started to say as I turned left. "How did you know that?" he asked in amazement.

"Your address is in your chart." I laughed. "Don't worry I'm not psychic."

"Oh," he said going a little red in the cheeks. "You had me fooled for a second." It was nice being in the car with him (a small enclosed and totally private space). It was so easy to just talk to him, to forget that I was a doctor and him a patient. Why did it have to be so easy to like him? Why did he have to be so perfect? I almost wish he was horrible and nasty, that way I wouldn't even have to think about what lines I might or might not be crossed. _Almost,_ but not quite. I focused on driving round the sharp turns for a while, that way at least I wouldn't crash and kill us both. I could almost see the headlines, **"Doctor kills patient by driving him home."** I pulled into the small garden/drive through area in front of his apartment building, which looked like it had been somehow transported for 18th century England; I can't believe I'd never noticed it before.

Jasper must have notice me looking and simply said, "I like buildings. This one in particular, do you know it was actually built in 1953 and was modelled after a building in Scotland which was original built in … You probably don't care, do you? I'm sorry," He smiled shyly. "Sometimes I get a bit carried away."

"No!" I said instantly. "I mean, yes! I do. Care, I mean. I do care. I like listening to you talk," Oh dear God you did not just say that Alice! Oh no I think I did. "I mean it's a nice change from listening to myself talk."

He laughed, "Well thanks', most people run away screaming whenever I start talking about buildings." He glanced out the window quickly then back to me. "Thank you for the lift Alice, you know you didn't have to!"

"Of course I did, I don't want my first patient getting his entry points infected from dirty buss seats now do I? I'd be the one that would have to clean up the mess. I'm really saving myself work in the long run." I babbled. "You're welcome." I finally said. He gave me a quick nod and smiled before opening the door and exiting the bug. I watched him walk slowly up the path toward the large wooden from door.

He only taken a few steps when I put on my doctor cap on, he was staggering ever so slightly, his steps slow and deliberate but just a little out of sync. My heart slowed a little in chest, _Oh no!_ I thought. I got out of the car as quickly as I could and got to him just as he lurched forward. I grabbed hold of his arm to steady him. His face was pale as paper and a stricken expression crossed it as his eyes became more alert and slowly red blotches started to spread across his cheeks. "Oh," He said. "That's, erm…that's never happened before. I'm sorry; I'm not usually such a damsel."

"I believe you," I said, but all hint of humour had left my voice. "It's just the Venofer; it can cause light-headedness, especially if you're not used to taking so much of it. Probably a mixture of that and standing up too fast. And you don't need to apologise, I'm your doctor, remember?"

He looked down at me, his eyes now focused completely on mine. I looked back up at him. We were so close, I was still holding onto his arm and his fingers were still wrapped around my wrist. I could feel the thump of his pulse against my arm. Fast, just like mine. His Ocean blue eyes just look at me, stripping me bare. _Can he really see me? _I think. It feels like those eyes could explore every corner of me, I could get lost in those eyes. I was getting lost. We were getting closer; I could feel his breath warm on my cheek. He didn't smell like hospital, he smelled of wood and ink…and it was wonderful. I could feel myself reaching up to him reaching up to…NO! I pulled away sharply, and so did he.

"Will you be okay getting up to your apartment?" I asked quietly not looking him in the eye.

"Yeah of course, I'll be fine." He said quickly.

"Well, goodnight then. I'll see you Wednesday."


	4. Affliction Of Insomnia

**Authors Note: This chapter is a little different. It gives us a little break from Alice's babbling (Though we know we love her for it). I hope you enjoy reading it (fingers crossed!). Please let me know what you think, because if you do you might just get a little sneak peak of chapter 5, hehe. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. Nuf said. **

* * *

January 16th 2005

Even in Texas it was cold this time of year. A light snow had been falling all through the night and the frost glittered as the sun slowly rose in the clear blue sky of Austin. Jasper waited for his alarm to buzz at 7:30am. It was currently 6:58am. The green numbers gave the small room an eerie glow, just enough light to make out the soft lines of furniture. Jasper traced over them with a weary eye, he imagined the room transforming, bigger, smaller, higher, squarer, circular, octagonal… The possibilities were nearly endless. His eyes moved quickly from corner to corner as he pictured different scenarios, what kind of beams would you use to support octagonal room? What is the most economical wall length that would provide maximum floor area? Where in a building would you position such a room and what rooms would you place adjacent to it? How would you design said rooms to optimise space?

If he wasn't going to sleep all night he might as well think of something semi constructive. It wasn't for lack of trying; he had been exhausted when his head hit the pillow. His eyes had been consumed by the dark circles beneath them and fatigue had set into his bones. But minutes later he needed to use the bathroom. After that the dull ache in his left side had kept him half conscious for hours, that and the effort of getting up ever ten seconds to use the bathroom. When Jaspers heard his father getting ready for work at 5:00am he gave up on sleep altogether.

His clothes sagged on him a little, after two straight weeks with zero appetite anyone is bound to loose a few pounds. Jasper opened his bedroom door forcefully nearly ripping his 'Ceci n'est pas une pipe' poster that he had pinned there years ago. His mood was nothing less then fowl. He was about to go and make some toast when the phone's shrill ring filled the air.

"Hello," Jasper barked.

"It's just me son," His dad softly, always a patient man…even when he shouldn't be.

"Oh, hi dad," Jasper mumbled reeling in the contempt in his voice.

"Just phoning to let you know that I made an appointment for you with Dr Webber, it's at 12:30." He said quietly.

"Dad I told you, I'm fine! I don't need to see a doctor, and anyway I have lectures all day I can't make it." Jasper expressed tiredly, hoping his father would not notice the stain in his voice.

"I've seen your schedule and you have class in the morning and late afternoon, you _can_ go to the appointment and you _will_…Jasper," He said, his voice more pleading than angry, "please go to the appointment. You haven't been yourself recently and I want to make sure you're okay. Please."

Jasper and Rosalie were all he had left, and his job of course. Jasper knew that. "Okay," Jasper finally said. "I'll go see Dr Webber but I bet you a nights cooking there is nothing wrong with me!"

Dad chuckled though there was no humour in it, "I'll see you tonight son." Then he hung up.

With that Jasper put his phone back in his pocket and started getting ready for a Tuesday morning at the University of Texas School of Architecture. Nothing like a lecture on Victorian masonry to get the brain in gear, right?

The sun made the cold morning bright and Jasper was glad he had slipped on his Longhorns cap before setting off across the city. He pulled his jacket over his broad shoulders as a gust of icy wind cut through the air. The tall buildings of Austin provided next to no shelter against the elements, maybe that's why Rosalie moved to Los Angeles.

Yeah, Jasper thought sarcastically, she moved because of the weather! Maybe it was just the prestige of UCLA, the career prospects, the 'celebrities'. What ever the reason she hadn't been home since she moved there three years ago, three years was a long time. It was the length of time it took Jasper to play football with any skill; the length of time it took his father to be promoted to Chief of Neurosurgery at Seton Medical Centre; the length of time his mother had been dead…

She didn't even call on Jaspers 18th Birthday. She didn't even care enough to pick up the phone. But it didn't matter, not really. What with his dad demanding job and Rose being gone Jasper had become quite the chief in the past few years, and had got himself a great job working for one Austin's top Architectural Design firms, STG Design. He pretty much only fetched the coffee but didn't bother him much.

It felt like no time had past at all before Jasper had felt like nodding of in his Victorian Masonry lecture, talked to his professor about a paper on 17th century Russian design and grabbed a cup of coffee for lunch. Now he was sitting in a plastic waiting room outside of Dr Fraser's consultation room, Dr Webber was busy but apparently his college was 'Just as good, in fact probably even better!'

The walls were a faded powder green and the worn out carpet looked like it had seen its fair share of bodily fluids. Every piece of furniture was plastic, Jasper found it quite impressive. His chair squeaked when he leaned back against it. Despite the coffee, he was exhausted.

"Jasper Hale," Jasper opened his eyes and looked up to see a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair looking in his direction. Jasper stood and walked toward him. "I'm Dr Fraser, please come in Jasper."

"So what can I help you with today," Dr Fraser said as I took a seat nest to his desk, which was made of wood.

"Well for starters I don't think I need to be here at all," Jasper said quickly. "My dad made the appointment."

"Well the great Dr Hale wouldn't have made you an appointment with me if he didn't think there was something a miss, don't you think?" Dr Fraser said calmly looking me straight in the eye.

"I still don't think there's anything wrong with me." Jasper grumbled.

"Well you're here now so you might as well give me something to write on your file." The doctor shrugged.

"I suppose I've been tired?" Jasper said carefully. Dr Fraser nodded in encouragement. "But I haven't been sleeping much so that explains that."

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I don't know, I guess my side been kind of sore, just here," Jasper said putting his hand over the left side of his abdomen. "And I need to use the bathroom all the time…and well…there's been some blood…"

"In your urine?" He questioned. Jasper stayed silent. "Jasper, has there been blood in your urine." Jasper looked down at his hands wriggling round awkwardly in his lap before giving a small nod. Jasper knew this wasn't nothing. He just couldn't think it.

"What about your appetite? How's that been?"

Jasper looked up, "Why do you ask?" The Doctor just looked at him, raised his eye brows and nodded for him to answer the question. "Not very good," Jasper admitted.

"I'd like to do some tests if that's okay with you, I'd like to take some blood and if you could…" He handed Jasper a clear plastic tube.

"I know what to do with this," Jasper quickly interrupted.

"The bathrooms are to the left if you could hand it into reception on your way out that would be great. First if you could sit up on the bed here and I'll take a little blood…it wont hurt you'll…"

"I'm not afraid of needles." Jasper cut in quickly.

Dr Fraser looked up with knowing eyes, "Good." He said quietly.

The smell of breakfast still hung in the air while Dr Hale busied himself with the washing up. Jasper had fallen asleep in front of the TV when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He woke with a start and quickly fished it out.

"Hullo," He huffed.

"Jasper this is Dr Fraser, I'm sorry did I wake you?" He said apologetic. Jasper glanced at the time 7:55am, he had only got up 25 minutes ago he shouldn't be falling asleep again already…where had the insomnia gone?

"No Dr Fraser it's, eh, it's fine." His brain was still a too addled to think it was strange his doctor was calling him so early…or that he was calling him at all. His dad, on the other hand, was quite alert and Jasper could feel his eyes turn in his direction.

"Could you perhaps come into the surgery this morning to see me?"

"Why?" Jasper asked quietly suddenly wide awake.

"I would like to discuss your test results with you and your family. Is your father available this morning?" Dr Fraser said tightly.

"Yeah," Jasper said dumbly. "I'm mean; yes we'll be there soon." Then he hung up the phone before Dr Fraser could get another word in. The doctor just wanted to dismiss his dad's worries in person, that's all this meant.

"Dr Fraser wants to see us?" His dad asked tight lipped. Jasper nodded once. Jasper was so tired his journey to the doctor's surgery was a blur. He put his coat on, his dad was driving, it was raining. Jaspers keys were chinking in his pocket but he didn't remember locking the front door. Oops.

The doctor's office was cold; after all they hadn't expected anyone to be in this early in the morning. The plastic furniture seemed even more alien than it had yesterday and the kids toys that were usually sprawled across the floor were still neatly packed away in their (plastic) box from clean up the night before. Dr Fraser welcomed them into his ice box of an office with a sad smile.

"Dr Hale I'm sorry we had to meet again under these circumstances," He said once we were all sitting 'comfortably'.

"That's all right Douglas, it can't be helped." Jaspers dad said politely.

"No," Dr Fraser sighed. "I'm afraid it can not." He looked at me before continuing. "Your test results came back Jasper and I'm sorry to say they aren't good. The levels of certain substances in your blood suggest stage V kidney failure. I'm referring you to one of the best nephrologists in the city and from there he'll arrange further diagnostics and treatment. From your test results as they stand I would expect haemodialysis which means you will have to undergo minor surgery to from an access point in your arm and…

…and Jasper stopped listening. It was probably on of the most important conversations of his life, but he stopped listening all the same.


	5. Live Forever

Chapter 5: Live Forever

I had pretty much ignored Jasper for the past three weeks. Not Mr Hale of course! He was my first ever all-to-myself patient and therefore got the best care possible. _Jasper _on the other hand had been left in the dust, I couldn't risk a repeat of that night I drove him home. That wonderful night when his face light up over a stupid building and his eyes sparkled in the yellow street lamp light and his hair was wafting gently against his pale face and his lips…and my lips…no! No no no no! Stop thinking about his lips Dr Cullen, that's an order!

I had pulled the night shift for the past four days, this was my last one. Woo hoo. Just me and three nurses with nothing to do but sit and hope nothing happens. It gave me a great chance to catch up on my studying (I am till a student after all) and an even better chance to not have to see Jasper again… and risk a replay! I can not have inappropriate interactions with a patient. With _my _patient. So I'll keep my head in the books for the night and keep on top of things.

"_Nephrotic syndrome is kidney disease with proteinuria, hypoalbuminemia, and edema. Nephrotic-range proteinuria is 3 grams per day or more. On a single spot urine collection, it is 2 g of protein per gram of urine creatinine. Common detection involves…"_

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! Shoot, my pager! BEEP, BEEP! **BEEP!** The screen read "E.R." I picked up the ward phone and quickly dialled 3500.

"This is Dr Cullen," I said.

"Dr Cullen a patient of yours has just been admitted in critical condition," The voice on the other end said quickly. "Please respond as quickly as possible."

"But I'm only a junior I don't know how to deal with that!" I said in a small panicky voice.

"You're the most senior Nephrologist in the building Dr Cullen you're going to have to learn fast!" The line went dead.

"Tanya I'm needed at the E.R. Are you all right up here?" I asked quickly. My hands were shaking, my patient was in the emergency room, I only had one patient. My mind was racing through a thousand possible scenarios. Thy ranged from Emmett jumping out and shouting _'psyche!',_ to me running down to the E.R. and finding…_him_ lying on a gurney dead. But I tried to dismiss those thoughts quickly, whatever was going on, I was needed, and I couldn't second guess myself the way I just had on the phone. I could not doubt my ability because that could lead to disaster…for everyone.

"Of course," Tanya replied. "We're here if you need us."

I uttered a quick, "Thanks," before making a dash for the stair. Despite what you may see on _Grays Anatomy_ doctors in Seattle in fact use the stairs far more than we use the elevator, and nothing interesting ever happens in the elevators of Virginia Mason Medical Centre even when we do use them.

I reached out for the panel to open the automatic doors as I jumped the last two steps and rushed toward the resuscitation bays of the E.R. I was getting close when I could hear Dr Lahote voice echoing in the corridor, he was barking instructions at the nurses who were all to use to his temper.

"Someone get me her _current_ god damn medical records! Or better yet a bloody _Nephrologist."_ His sharp tones bit into my ears.

"I'm Dr Cullen," I said firmly as I entered resus bay 2. My heart was hammering in my chest from nerves as much as from my excursion down the stairs. But it nearly stopped when I recognised my patient on Dr Lahote's bed, Melissa Jeffery. "I'm Ms Jeffery's doctor."

"You'll have to do," He barked at me. "She presented with atrial fibrillation which soon developed into a full cardiac arrest. We stabilised her for now but I am far from confident about her prognosis."

"Her medical records are in the department," I started.

"Get them!" Dr Lahote ordered while pointing at a young scared looking nurse.

"But I can tell you the most relevant information myself," when Dr Lahote did not interrupt I continued. "She had been in end stage renal failure for twelve years and we recently moved up the transplant list after her GFR dropped significantly. She was allowed to live at home only because her son is a nurse and can administer relevant treatment. The cardiac arrest was most likely caused by sever hyperkalemia, we were trying to keep it under control but electrolyte imbalances can cause devastating problems even when managed. She was currently taking…"

I was interrupted by loud beeping as the monitor next to Melissa signalled a drastic drop in blood pressure. I stepped out the way to allow the emergency medics room to do their jobs, I may be one of the doctors on her case but I was not trained to deal with situations like this in the same way Dr Lahote was. I only supplied information when it was needed.

"She's on furosemide don't use any thalizides!" I warned. "No ESA's! She'll OD!" My brain was frozen and going a mile a minute all at the same time. The machines continued to beep and her blood pressure wasn't stabilising. Eventually I realised that I was shouting at Dr Lahote so much I might as well just treat her myself. Emergency training be damned, I had helped treat her since I first came to the hospital.

The nurses accommodated as I shooed them away from her dialysis access point and set up a small cannulae in her right arm to give her IV fluids and anti-diuretics. It felt strange trying to raise her blood pressure after trying to lower it for so many years.

It was slow but eventually her BP stabilised and, after a brief chat with Dr Lahote and a page to Dr Hoffman (Melissa's primary care giver), I decided to stay with her while she was moved to the ICU. Her kidney function was non-existent so I put onto bypass and she had stopped breathing on her own but she had already been intubated when I got to the E.R. Multi-organ failure qualified you for immediate admission to ICU.

But Melissa Jeffery didn't make it to the ICU. I had just received her chart and was noting down recent events when a flashing red light caught my eye, a second before the alarms sounded. The defib trolley was still sitting beside her bed and before I knew it the paddles were in my hands. I looked up the see the nurse that had brought me Melissa's chart standing over her pounding hard on her chest. "Clear," I heard my own crisp voice announce loudly before I placed one paddle in the centre of her chest, one panel on her left side, and pushed down the small red buttons to release the charge.

Melissa's body jerked awkwardly under the influence of 360 volts. But her heart rhythm stayed the same.

"Charging," I said as the young nurse pounded. "Clear!"

"Charging…Clear!"

"Charging…Clear!"

"Charging…Clear!"

Times seemed to slow to a stop as I tried to force life into the woman lying in front of me.

"Charging…Clear!"

Nothing changed. Her heart was still seizing. Her blood pressure was dropping. My body went numb as Melissa's jerked on the table.

"Charging…Clear!"

"Charging…"

"Alice, stop!" A voice said in my ear. The erratic beeping stopped and was replaced by a monotone squeal. "Alice she's gone." Dr Lahote said softly. I still did not release my iron grip on the defib paddles. _I'm her doctor, I can save her. _I could hear myself breathing in short gasps as someone slowly separated my small hands from the cold plastic of the paddles. I looked up to see Dr Lahote's dark eyes looking into mine. They were not angry and hostile the way I was used to, they were soft, understanding. I let him take the paddles from me, but as I felt them slip from my fingers I felt panic rising in my chest. _I will not give up on my patient._

"Call it Dr Cullen," the voice in my ear said firmly. My brain had shut down and his words didn't make any sense to me. My blank stare prompted him to expand. "She's your patient Dr Cullen; you have to call time of death."

I looked up at the plain white clock above me and without even thinking I said, "Time of death 02:41."

Then I started walking, I walked through the E.R. without really knowing where I was going. I know the hospital like the back of my hand but every corridor suddenly looked the same. It was all just white walls and blue floors. White walls and blue floors. After what seemed like hours wandering around that endless maze I found the exit, as soon as the cold night air hit my face I bent over double and vomited.

I looked down at my hands, they were shaking. I felt like my whole body was convulsing and I sat down on the cold stone ground before I fell down. I put my head between my knees and concentrated on breathing. I don't know how long I had sat there when I felt some lay a warm hand on my shoulder.

"You're freezing Alice." Came the voice of Dr Lahote. "May I call you Alice; feel free to call me Paul."

I nodded slightly as I raised my head from my knees. Why was he being so nice, Dr Lahote (Paul) was infamous for being bad-tempered and moody.

"So…your first?" He was asking if that was my first patient to die. He knew the answer even with out my confirmation, but I gave it anyway.

"I thought…" I started to say, but my voice caught in my throat and I knew I couldn't continue.

"You thought you could handle it? That it would be easier? That you knew hat you were in for? That you were prepared?" Paul finished for me. "We all think that, and we all find out we're wrong. Unfortunately we all find out the hard way."

He paused for a moment and sighed, it was starting to rain and I could feel small specks of water brush against my cheeks.

"I've informed her son so you don't need to worry about that. But he's still in the waiting area if you want to talk to him, I don't know about the rest of the family." Paul continued.

"Her husband died years ago, her daughter lives in Wisconsin. Apart from her son Jason she doesn't really have any other family." I said in a small voice. "I should speak to him; it might make it easier if he see's a doctor he knows."

"Take your time Alice; take care of yourself before you start lookin' after everyone else. Now come one, let's get inside out of the rain." Paul stood and helped me to my feet. The shaking had stopped and I felt steadier.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur; I splashed some cold water on my face and talked to Jason. I didn't really say much, I didn't need to. And what was I supposed to say anyway? He just lost his mom. Nothing I could possible say would make that any better, so I didn't try. Word must have reached my ward by the time I made my way back up there because so one said a word I took up my chair behind the nurses' station.

The whole place was solemn faces and sad smiles. Angela's eyes were red and puffy from crying but I didn't hear a peep out of her all night, or any of the other nurses for that matter. After all they had known Meli… the patient for longer than I had. I didn't try to study the rest of the night. I kept an eye on the nocturnal dialysis patients. I focused my attention on making sure they had been prescribed the right doses of the right things. I sorted through some blood work and changed prescriptions accordingly. I kept my head down, and I didn't think about what had just happened. It felt better to not think about it.

I had just finished unhooking my last nocturne patient when I heard someone clearing their throat; I looked up to see Dr Hoffman. "The hospital called me last night about Melissa Jeffery; Dr Lahote told me you handled it very well. I'm sorry you had to deal with that on your own," Dr Hoffman was slowly getting closer and I jerked away before he got too close. He was a fantastic doctor but I had never felt completely comfortable around him. I could never quite put my finger on why.

"I have to go now Dr Hoffman," I said quietly slipping out of the small room. Angela was still sitting at the nurses' station when I was on my way out, I offered her a ride home and accepted with a small smile. I knew she didn't have a car and I didn't want her walking back to her apartment in the rain.

My car smelled like BBQ pizza, it might have been funny under different circumstances. I knew Angela was a bit of a neat freak, he apartment always smelled like some sort of flower and I knew the stench of old pizza must have driven her crazy. But she didn't say a word, didn't even scrunch up her nose. She was clearly really upset, but I didn't know what to say to her. How could I help her when I didn't even know what the hell was going on in my own head?

What I finally got home I fell into bed without bothering to shower, or brush my hair, or eat. In fact I didn't even take my clothes off. I just lay with my head buried in my pillow and my rain jacket still damp around my shoulders.

I didn't really sleep, when ever I did my dreams were filled with flat lining monitors and defib paddles that didn't work. No matter how many times I tried to push the buttons they wouldn't work. I pushed them over and over and over again and nothing happened. You didn't have to be Sigmund Freud to interpret those dreams. I gave up at about 7:00 pm, went for a shower and heat up some left over mac and cheese, which, in the end, I didn't touch. After a while of being completely uninterested in a bunch of tall, skinny brats crying over getting their hair cut I grabbed my coat and went for a walk.

For once the city of Seattle was dry and I decided to risk not taking an umbrella. It was pitch black but I couldn't see any stars, you never could in the city. It was a little sad actually, I missed looking up at the stars the way I could back home.

My dad used to take me out all by myself and point out all the constellations to me, it was nice to spend some time alone with my dad. Growing up with two big brothers meant I didn't really get much of a chance to spend some one on one time with my parents. And I was a daddy's girl through and through. He always knew what to say when things were tough, always knew what to do, never got worked up and always kept calm. I don't know how he does it.

I wrapped my arms around myself as the wind picked up and I suddenly realised how cold it was. Crisp brown leaves were being blown from naked trees and I could hear them crunching under my feet. I had always liked this time of year, but tonight it just seemed sad somehow. Instead of the bare trees waiting for a new set of bright green leaves all I could see were dead brown clumps being crushed under my feet. It was wrong, so wrong.

I wanted so badly to call my dad but I knew I couldn't, knew I wouldn't.

"Dr Cullen?" I heard a familiar voice question. "Dr Cullen are you alright? What are doing out by yourself this time of night?"

"Hello Jasper," I said quietly keeping my head down. "Shouldn't I be asking you those questions?"

"I'm walking home from the hospital," _Duh!_ "So what's your excuse for being out at 11pm?" I kept my head down and tried to work up the nerve to speak. When I stayed silent he took a step toward me, "Alice," He said slowly leaning in slightly too took at my face. "Are you okay?"

Then I made a big mistake, I looked up. I looked up into his blue eyes so filed with concern, his face frowning slightly at my silence. I could feel my throat tighten and knew then I couldn't hold it in any longer. I only had time to shake my head before tears started rolling down my face and my knees buckled under me.

He caught me before I fell and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his shoulder and he held on tighter when ragged sobs racked through my small frame. He didn't say a thing, he just held me while I cried. I tried to speak, maybe I was trying to explain my behaviour or maybe I just needed to talk about it. But all that came out was strangled sobs. "She died," I sobbed into his shoulder. "I tried…but she just…she …she..."

For a while I forgot he was my patient and I was his doctor, I felt so safe in his arms. He wouldn't let anything happen to me, he would keep holding onto me as long as I needed him too. And by God I needed him too. I don't know why I felt like this with him, I barely knew him. It just felt so right to be wrapped in his arms, we fit together.

I don't know how long we sat there, on the damp sidewalk of Seattle. Thankfully this was not a busy walkway at eleven o'clock at night. When I finally stopped crying I looked up from his shoulder and tried to apologise. But he immediately stopped me.

"You take care of me," He said simply. "It's my turn."

"I couldn't save her," I whispered bowing my head.

"It was Melissa's time Alice, no one lives forever." He said softly. "It's not your fault…Alice look at me," I looked at his face, so close to mine, so full of understanding and kindness. "It is not your fault."

I put my arms around his waist and held on tight, he was the only thing keeping me above water right now and I couldn't bear to let him go. I put my head against his chest and could feel his heart beating in my ear, I found the sound comforting. He still didn't let me go…and I didn't let him go either.

Tomorrow was a new day, but tonight there was just us. And that was all I needed.

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**Authors Note: I am so sorry for how long this one took me to post, I'm not going to make any excuses I'm just very sorry! **

** Not much Jasper I know but I needed some Alice time. Reviews keep me writing, so let me know what you think! Please? **

**Thanks for reading. ~SM**


	6. Needles

Chapter 6, Needles

It was, for once, a clear and crisp night in the sleepy city of Seattle. I could feel the wind brushing past my face as I blew my nose for the fiftieth time in the past hour. I must have looked something special. My eyes were red and swollen from all the crying and they were stinging in the cold air. My hair was sticking up in all kinds of directions and hadn't seen a styling product, or cleaning product, in at least 72 hours. I had finally stopped crying but now my nose was running and, after a few failed attempts of wipe it gracefully, I was making the most unladylike of noises.

Though after my nuclear melt down I didn't think my companion would mind a few nose blowings. I hope.

After I calmed down a little Jasper told me we should take a walk to clear my head. He didn't ask any questions, of which I was extremely grateful. In fact he didn't seem fazed by my display at all. I, on the other hand, was completely mortified. I seriously doubted he would trust me with his health care after this. I'd just be that crazy doctor that went insane.

_Fantastic! I either kill my patients or scare them for life_.

I couldn't stop thinking about Mrs Jeffery. The way her body jerked when I pushed those buttons. They way her chest rose and fell as someone forced air into her lungs. I could still feel the paddles in my hands. I didn't even realise she was dead until I heard Pauls voice in my ear telling me to stop. How can you not notice something like that? I would have kept surging electricity into her lifeless body, I wouldn't have stopped. How can you not notice someone's dead?

_She's dead. _

I should never have agreed that she could go home. If she had been in the hospital we could have noticed something was wrong sooner. It was probably sepsis, blood poisoning, the second most common cause of death for patients on haemodialysis. If she had been in the ward we would have picked up on the signs and I could have saved her.

Instead I watched her die.

"So are you from Seattle originally?" Jaspers voice floated into me head, bringing me out of my reprieve.

"What?" I said stupidly while my brain came back to reality. "Oh, erm, no, I moved here about eight months ago in March when I got the fellowship at Virginia Mason." I was quietly thankful for a neutral topic of conversation. Just walking in silence with Jasper felt nice, even if I had been getting lost in my own morbid thoughts, but hearing his voice was comforting.

"So where were you brought up?" He asked turning round to look at me. His pale face was illuminated in yellow street lamp light and his eyes were soft, caring.

"A small town by the coast, Forks. It's a nice place, I loved it growing up. It has this huge forest that just seems to stretch on forever, my brothers and I used to play in it growing up, we got so lost sometimes!" I feel my face almost smiling from the memories of Edward freaking out ever time we wandered off the beaten track. But I didn't smile.

"Sounds like you love it," Jasper said gently. "Why didn't you go back there after collage?"

I shook me head as I thought about my answer, "It's so small it doesn't even a hospital. Well, technically, it has a community hospital but it's not really the type of place you can do your training."

"Do you think you'd ever move back?" He continued to probe.

"Yeah, maybe one day…I don't know. I don't think they have any great need for a Nephrologist." I could feel myself getting a little more relaxed; it was easy to feel that way around Jasper. At least I thought so. "Mind if I ask a question?"

He raised an eyebrow in answer, urging to me continue. "Where are we going? We've been walking for ages!"

"I want to show you something, we're nearly there." I had no idea what he would want to show me, but for some unbeknown reason, I trusted him.

The wind was picking up now and I shivered as an icy cold blast caught me off guard.

"You're cold," Jasper said quickly taking off his jacket. "Here, wear this."

"No, you keep it I'm fi..." I started.

"No, you're not fine." He said matter-of-factly putting his long woollen coat round my tiny shoulders. "Let _me_ take care of _you _for one night Dr Cullen, it's the least I can do."

I didn't argue with him, I just pulled the warm coat around me and gave him a thankful look. I tried to smile, but I couldn't do that just yet. The coat smelled like him, hospital disinfectant mixed with shampoo. I liked hospital disinfectant and shampoo. It almost made me smile.

"We're here," Jasper said pointing upwards.

"The Space Needle?" I asked cautiously. I'd seen it a thousand times, like everyone in Seattle.

"It was designed by Edward Carlson and John Graham. The design was created from Carlson's drawing of a balloon and Graham's fantasy of a flying saucer. It was completed in 1962, forty-eight years ago. Carlson and Graham both died twenty years ago but I can still tell you about the architectural firm John Graham ran with his father and Edwards Carlson's post as Lieutenant Commander in WW2." As Jasper's smooth voice filled the night air I looked up at the building I'd walked past a thousand times and never really noticed before.

"I think about them every time I look up that that Needle. So you see Dr Cullen, nobody lived forever, but none of us really die either." I could feel my fingers tightening around the lapel of Jaspers coat. I didn't want to start crying again, but my cheeks felt damp as warm tears stung my face.

"Melissa's children will always remember her. And they'll tell their children about her and then in five hundred years time her great great great great great granddaughter will make up a family tree and she'll learn all about her great great great great great grandmother."

Without even realising what was happening I could feel my lips curl up ever so slightly and as Jasper looked down at me with those deep, knowing eyes I almost felt okay. "She's not here anymore," He said slowly. "But she's not gone."

I glanced around then, trying to blink the tears out of my eyes, when something caught my eye. A clock on the side of a building.

"Its 2:41am," I said quietly. "Twenty-Four hours ago I watched my patient die, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I didn't do _anything_." My voice broke on the last word and all attempt to stop crying failed.

I felt his arms wrap around me for the second time tonight as he said quietly in my ear, "It's not your fault." He pulled away slightly. "Alice, look at me," he said sternly.

And I did. I looked up into those damn blue eyes, and I listened.

"This is not your fault."

And in some small part of me, I believed him.

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**AN: I wasn't going to post this originally because it's a bit short but I figured I was better posting it than let it gather dust on my computer. Lets just call it a mini chapter!**

**I meant to say earlier but if anyone has any questions about the medical stuff in the story just ask. I'm trying to stick to the facts as much as possible so if you want me to add a glossary or something for the medical words I'd be happy to. **

**And if anyone has any ideas or things they'd like to see in the story just let me know (by review or PM, i don;t mind), I know generally where I want the story to go but ideas are always welcome for the odd little story here and there. **

**okay, end of epic authors note! Thanks for reading. **


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